ello
well this time i dun write ne poems....or stories. this time i face reality, this time i tell u watz going on w/ me.
recently ive been impatient and ill-tempered. ive even started swearing, and yeha i kno itz not that big of a deal, but still, shows how mad/frustrated i can be when usually im so carefree.....or careless.
i kno how they say when u dun work hard something always comes back to kick u in the ass. maybe that's just to scare u, or maybe itz true. i guess it's getting to me.
im stressed out. im rlly stressed out. this is like, the mother of stress.
why? not rlly sure. i think itz got a lot to do w/ the fact that lately ive realized how reality isnt so great, how i could grow up f-ed and end up having to constantly worry about money and how im gonna get food and how im gonna care for myself and the ppl i care about.
heh wat am i kidding, that's unrealistic.
not.
that's the thing, itz not unrealistic, itz real, it's so real all i gotta do is go downtown to see it.
*rubbs eyes* but maybe not so much for me, maybe cuz i got a good family life, ppl tat love me, i got support, i got an education, i got security.
im just afraid ill screw that gift up.
been distracted, lost train of thought.
o well, *sigh* i feel like im falling apart. so much, "wat if?" for the future. im sooo stressed, i want all my work to magically disapear. b4 i had another yr behind me, it was ok, now i gotta finish in order to not return to school next yr.
i guess i also rlly dun wanna go back.
*rubbs eyes* keane says, "just keep on working, just keep on working and it'll happen." man...........and then, cuz im so stressed out, i end up wasting my time.
BOO! pishhy poshy. that's exactly wat i always said, stress out - end up loosing in the end.
all the teachers, "if u dont stress out ull fail."
they forgot to mention that ill probably end up lunatic by the time that happens.
man im rlly not meant for this shit...gotta get my act together.
must be ~calm~
i feel like im loosing my friends, just my imagination tho i bet ~ how r u guys doing?
o wait...lol not many ppl read these ne more.
o well.
*sigh* just gotta relax.
i lied...no i didnt, just a change of plans.
like a river, like a sea
it all just falls, down on me
like a mountain strong and high
like a seagal in the sky
i'll be careless and free,
ill be stronger then the tallest tree
against the waves that crash down on me
in the deep deep river
i think the meaning should be evident. lol OOOo w00t, intellegent word!!!
-hoshi
5 Comments:
arill read, don't comment; more than i can say for u, buddy =P
but in all serious-ness... that's what school and stuff is for... to try to provide you with something that'll feed you later on
2:01 am
The realistic life about constant worrying, *sighs* yep yep yep. Hey rei, if u think ure losing ure friends, just remeber you're in the midst of it. At least u get to see them, and u have two of 'em not 5 ft away living from you. I know not supportive, but i'm just trying to make u feel better, you're surrrounded *whoa.,..many Rs* by ppl u love and love u in return. Ppl to chill with at school....heh....people who dont ignore u....I SHOULD'VE tranferred.....but eh..enough bitter regrets......this isnt about me. I dont know how to help u with your stress issues and even w/ holidays ure still worrying about the remainning work. Just remember that high school is not even 15% of our life...it's just a pit stop...ure stopping for gas, got it? the place isnt gonna blow up....ure going to leave real soon....just need patience...
I would say more...but i'm getting an idea to write in my blog..and i just realized i gotta get going to ure school...ha ha...well..see ya there...take care ok?
1:39 pm
well, i felt better by the end of my post, i kno most of wat i said had no backing to it, just worries/troubles that arent rlly there/so big when u think about it.
thanks tho for ur support :D.
and i kno wat u mean, by how i haf friends.
and i hope i dun ever annoy u jade! x3 in fact, when i hear i get to see u im like YAY!!!! hahaha. idunno, i think more wat i meant by the friends thing, is that i miss the old times. but hey we were kids then - right?
man this is scary, :'( i wanna b a kid.
ne way lately ive just been feeling rlly down, i think it has a lot to do w/ the weather - i want spring!!!!!
^_^ im ok..and thx a lot for ur encouraging words!
9:46 am
*hugs* it's ok, things have a way of working out. You are already close to the end of high school, and as long as keep going, you -will- reach the end. My motto this time every year is: don't think just work. There's no use worrying about it and wasting your time and precious energy on -that-. Of course, worry just a little if it gives you incentive to go forward. ^_~
However, I do understand what you mean by getting ill-tempered and impatient. I guess there is no way to make it go away. Just try not to let it overwhelm you. I mean, in the end, your mental and physical health comes first.
Good luck with everything!
2:06 pm
thx every1 thx senpai!
i knows, and im finding it ezier to deal w/ now - maybe itz the knowlegde of upcoming spring?
god i cant wait to see the sun shining again!!!
9:56 am
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